Who am I? I don't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror now. Everything looks different and I don't even know what I am doing. Everything is upside down and inside out. Everything I do now have mix feelings of happiness and sadness.

Firstly, University of Montana accepted me already and even given scholarship which makes me very happy. But then due to a big fight with someone, I swear not to go there anymore which leaves me to University of Oregon. Now, I am scared that Uni of Oregon don't accept me since it is so late already. I hope they accept me soon but then again half of me wants to stay in Malaysia. Going to USA alone will be scary and what more a Uni w/o anyone I know there. This is seriously dejavu, just like when I entered ADP and all my high school friends had the trend of going A levels. Well, I didnt regret ADP one bit, in fact, Im proud to be an ADPian. One night, I receive an email from Uni of Oregon asking me to check my account, but I didnt read it finish. So, I guessed this was the result and when I click on it, mixed feelings gushed into my mind and I dont even know I was hoping for a yes or no. Nevertheless, the answer was still pending.

If so happen I dont get to go USA by this FALL, what should I do? Work for film production company as intern? Or for PR/Adv company as intern? Either way, I wont get much money but will be worked to death. Then there is Prudential company, work with all the adults but get quite good paid. OR I can just lay at home, eat and sleep until I grow fat!! I even thaught of taking summer classes, SOCS 102 & COMM 101 but then I dont want to study anymore. ARGH everthing is messed up.

Now, everyday passed by the same. Wake up late, eat, play piano, online and watch TV. Occassionally, I gamble with my neighbors and mum's frineds and sampat together...gosh I feel like a SILAI. Also, so long didnt touch the piano, my playing degraded. Had to exercise my fingers with HANON and it kills me everyday, you can feel the nerves in your fingers cracking. The after effect is nice though when it is loosen up. Take note all pianist, using the computer will stiffen your wrist and fingers especially your right hand when you 24/7 hold the mouse.

PS: Sorry kakak for FFKing you once more, but this time dont blame me, blame your boy boy ShunJie. Paksa him blanja bubble tea next time wahaha.


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