Saturday, October 24, 2009
My fire is put out Recently, I just realized that my fire has been put out. It just vanished. Last time I used to be hot tempered and snap so very often. I'm not complaining that change is bad but I do miss it a lot. Maybe it was PR that taught me to be patient, maybe it was the 4th mistress from the Hong Kong drama Rosy Business which taught me to be intelligent and to persevere. Another character I learn from is the father in To Kill The Mocking Bird. I guess character was shaped and I am more patience and tolerant than what I used to be. Now that my flame is gone, I realized that I do not speak so frankly and directly anymore. Every time I am about to say something, I analyze it first.
Except for the case of my brother. PR taught me that to keep good will, throw everything out fast and do not keep secrets. However, that didn't really work well (maybe). Every time I see him, we argue. I won't say i fully understand him, but when he explains it to me, I gets his point. Yet, he fails to see it from my view every time. Oh well, I guess the theory that the further siblings are from one another, the better our relationship is. Now that we live near each other again, the same old routine is back.
Back to the main topic, I used to be daring. Now, I keep on questioning myself and have lots of doubts. Should I get this shirt? Do I need this hat? Should I study hard? Should I go party? I guess that now I have to be independent and make my own decisions. Will continue another time, 4am now sleepy, going to bed. Tata.
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